A Very Zombie Christmas

A personal message to my most faithful reader, Gretchen. Please look away. Do not read this post. You will not like it. At all.

Julie, you will love this. And I hope that Santa treats you right and brings you the Zombie nativity. It would look so lovely on your mantle.

A Little Dolly to Love

A dolly with two sides (1) When she's a brunette, she's a little blue...

(2) And when she's a blonde, it's all lilacs and daisies. And a dash of lithium.

I knew she was a brat before I even saw her tag.

She keeps an eye on your while you are sleeping.

They tend to be a bit judgmental during playtime.

The most festive doll I have ever seen. She also makes a great Baby New Year.

From Russia With Love

For your Christmas music collection.

Children, listen up. If a crocodilewolfsquid stops you and asks if you'd like to see his pet crayfish and listen to some records, walk away.

A bashful fuzzy wuzzy ant. NOT a poo with eyes.

Merry Christmas. But tread carefully, Santa has a gun and a rocket.

Poor Santa got frostbite and tragically lost his nose after a failed attempt at Everest. Next year, Santa, next year.

Christmas Candles

To clarify, these are candles. Wouldn't they look lovely in the candle holder below? Festive.

Clowns + Christmas = Cwazy: Part Deux

Clowns with jazz hands.

Clowns with flat hands.

Clowns with no hands.

Creepy clowns.

Leaping Clowns.

Weepy clowns.

Taking a trip on mushrooms clowns.

Clowns + Christmas = Cwazy!

I don't understand this on any level. Sad clown. Golden goose donning a red bow. What am I supposed to learn from this? Please, someone, help me out here.

Nobody panic; a call has already been placed to the ASPCA.

Hobo-Clown wandered so far that he ended up at the North Pole. After hours of listening to Oh Christmas Tree and Jingle Bells played harmonica-style, Santa posed for this glamour shot to pacify Hobo-Clown and then sent Hobo-Clown on his way.

For Her

Christmas sweatshirt embellished with jingle bells? Check. Santa hat? Check. High-waisted, tapered, acid washed jeans? Check. Check. Check.

FYI, you may want to add a teeny diaper for the elf. He really has to go and I don't know about you, but elf pee + fresh blow-out just don't mix.

When you are the "plus one" for a holiday party, this is a logical, festive go-to ensemble.

Don't forget the shoes!